Gibberish Gyan!

I woke up once again, listening to the echo of my muted screams. I was gasping for air, pure, calm air. but all I could inhale was smell of few burning skins along with suffocated dreams, broken wings and sighs of "kill him, kill him"! I was still carrying knife in my hand, carving a picturesque shape of perfectly symmetrical square. Blood drops dripping form the upper two corners of the divine square. I looked at the mirror. Everything looked blurred. But I could figure out a sense of indifference on my ugly face. Mirror appeared all red and glowing and I fell in love with its reflection on my face. The blood tasted bitterly sweet and I was in delirium. I could see presence of few faces, but had trouble identifying them. Could not even identify their expressions. Blood kept on dripping and I was lost in collecting them. They nourish my dreams so perfectly. Rest I just gift to my friends.

It’s getting dark and when I opened my eyes I found myself in never land.
The walls were all white. There were various holes in the walls. Each hole had a note containing a thought and instruction, asking me to explain them or else, I won’t be able to feed my unidentified spectators with my blood drops. First note to justify god's actions and their playfulness...second, human psychology...Third, women...And so on...my neurotransmitters were required to take over from there...And it went about its duty of bringing random lines in to my life...

You see, I love gods. I am an atheist and non-atheist. I believe in their miracles and I am a fan of their strategies. Why don they come to corporate conference rooms? I am pretty sure with their help; business houses would be able to decimate their competitors.shrewed, smart and cunning to the core, my dear lords! What gave you such an ingenious idea to first create devils and then destroying them and making yourself immortal! That’s called genius. Every god had to die in unforeseen circumastances.mohammad, Jesus, and the likes had to go through all sort of punitive measures which were later christened sacrifices. it really helped in glorifying their existence so that mankind could understand the importance of their selfless sacrifices. But tell me, if it was not called or rather propagated sacrifice who the hell would have understood the futility of their death. Killed who? Who saw it? Who wrote the description? Why the hell Buddha left everything including his young wife and a toddler? To attain nirvana? To achieve enlightment? My foot! To preach peace and importance of leaving behind all attachments! One wonders, when the so called god himself did not fulfil a small duty of holding his family why on earth we ordinary mortals are expected to do so! Yeah, perhaps in the veil of some bigger purposes!

I wonder why gods need to glorify themselves, they way they did. Why Rama and Krishna (read Vishnu) had to take human forms to kill baddies? After all he was a god with infinite powers. He could have killed them directly. first you make the villains (kansh, ravana) immortal, blessing them with impractical benedictions then you take birth in good family, have fun with chicks, glorifying each n everything including how you shit, how and to how many you make love, making them registered in collection of lengthy book called religious scriptures and then just kill the villain and there goes chants of hail lord. Hail lord..! And the point is, what you gain, is great respect and blind following of billions of fucked up blind humans till eternity! Someone in a movie said, the biggest trick the devil ever pulled was to make the world believe that he does not exist. Well, devil was smart enough but our dear lords are always hell bent upon making us believe that devils do exist and he is the one who is going to protect us. Hail lord!

If gods do the same pity things, leaving behind trail of many tricks of deceit, sex and violence, why should humans feel left behind? They have to complement gods. Each and every fucking human is motivated by its own selfish reasons. Every human follows its own dictums, own wicked motives, conspiracies. That is not a problem. The problem arises when they pretend and pass statements like no, we live for others. We care for our fiends. We love selflessly. I am happy with you. I will die without you. My, my don’t they get tired of it? When Ayn Rand talked about invidualism and capitalism, half of the world stood against her. She just stated the obvious. Why are we so afraid of accepting the truth? If we are selfish, think of our well being as our primary objective, what’s wrong with that! Why one does has to pretend? And the irony is, it’s fashionable to be called individualist! Ask half of those crooks to spell this term!

Try to find the meanings associated with psycho analysis of the earlier species that descended upon the earth. Charles Darwin came up with the theory of survival of the fittest! i wish he could specify how various species survive. The powerful finishing away the meek is just one side of the story. Victimising the weak by the sheer use of force would not achieve the purpose. It’s not about killing the flesh and blood alone. One has to kill the spirit and there lies the true victory. When the man came along, he had to kill animals to fulfil his hunger. As societies started brewing up, the common factors were muder, deceit, fraud, schemes, polygamy. Those were the norms. Conscience never even existed. Those norms exist even more strongly today. But what has changed is they are used in a planned way, behind the veils. What’s the difference between man and animals? Brain? Sensibility? Well, that grand usage of brain is so clearly visible in matters of sex and marriage. That’s the biggest hypocrisy. Gods, kings could have as many as queens as they wanted. But we citizens of social republic cant have. But here again, if you are from upper class with the power of paper notes, it’s possible with you.

Sex before marriage??? Curse/immoral/unethical! Is it? Yes, because a girl's chastity is of supreme importance. If you lose it before marriage you have no character. But yes, when you are fucked on your wedding night, it is merger of two souls who have decided to stick/tolerate each other for next seven births (as if one birth is not sufficient).s wow..! i am impressed..!And here "wow" is not a game, it’s an addiction! But in the hindsight, if it is done in some corridor, rented hotel room, toilet, it’s all fine. All you need is the ability to appear virgin.yet; someone would please explain why condom sales are its maximum during the auspicious and religious occasion of Navratra? Leave alone only unmarried and youngsters, so many mrs x,y n z get screwed by the likes of mr a,b and c..Who noticed? Did they? Now, here we should not care.., no? Come on; let’s play dandia...dholi taaro dhol baaje..!Here every male worth his education, is intrigued by mystery of Cleopatra, who was a man eater! But come back to males family, society if they find a woman meeting eyes with strangers, all hell breaks lose!
When a French president goes public with his affair with a super model who is a staunch believer in polygamy, people makes faces, question the integrity of his character. When amitabh bachachan romances a 16 year old girl. People burn posters, pelt stones on the screen, because they find it unethical! Gimme a break, you unauthorized moral guardians! Given a choice and chance every 50 years male who is very starved of taut skin and young flesh, would love to go for a teenager's embrace. But no, we represent society; we have to talk about some non-existent values and virtues. It’s a different matter; everything goes up in smoke, when we switch off the lights of our bedrooms. There, in the dark shadows, virginity is the most aspired thing. There, we would not mind screwing a blooming bud.

Even in this merger of male-female spirit is so vicious and uneven. since beginning,male,the mindless creatures, have kept themselves indulged in ruling, carrying swords,preaching,hunting prey, selling/buying household commodities whereas females! Well, they have ruled the roost. Did someone really understand the term homemaker? The genes itself mastered the art of making and even more skilfully breaking homes. One draupadi caused mahabharat.one sita caused Ramayana. Another keykeyi forced Rama to exile. It still works the same way. They say, movies, drama reflect the reality of societies. Then I am not surprised why all the vamps in the ekta kapoor serials are poplar. Every home has a wicked female vamp. Otherwise what else would explain the popularity of Tulsi? The lone warrior in the notorious K-serials! Who do we admire the most? Who do we wish to follow? The person, who to some extent symbolizes what we are not, the good things we would have wished to possess! Doesn’t popularity of Tulsi reflect the desire of many households to have same type of daughter/sister/daughter-in-law and mother in law? And why that strong desire? Just because types of tulsis are rarity! Because females can’t be like that! So on one hand they love her and on the other, many of them despise her simply because they can’t be like her!

Talking of new age rage of women empowerment, my head starts spinning when i think of how it has panned out. Few females are so empowered that playing with guys feelings make them feel empowered. Having a job, steady income, ability to dance out the complete night, having a fag and drink are the few symbols of empowerment. Now the notion of true love says, first have many relationships, taste n test as many guys possible and choose the one your mom decides. That’s empowerment.now, instaed of guys riding you, you can ride them. You have to be on top of them, literally and figuratively. What males have done to you females since inception, do it to them. Make them go gaga over you. Take your time. And then in a flash, break it hard. Burn the pics; flush it in your toilet. Job is well done. Did not my mom teach me, revenge is a dish best served when it’s cold? A recent study says, on an average a male spends almost one year of his life staring at women's breasts, hips and legs! Did someone say yuckkk?? Come on, you bra-burning feminists, raise your voices! Make slogans of condemning men and asking who gave men these rights? Or just enlighten me, whether you are delighted to be ogled so vehemently?

Let’s make it easy babes. Come on honey, humans are primarily created to reproduce. We are nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do it live on discovery channel.feminism, afterall is much hyped but a waning virtue. Finding a female who is firm yet understanding, strong yet sensible, tough yet sensitive, is like rubbing Aladdin’s chirag and asking the jinn for impossible. Even jinn won’t appear because granting a simple wish like that is beyond their power.

Finally, relationships! Made by blood and self-made! Promises, deals, extravagant shows of bonding, attachment and never to be fulfilled broken beliefs! What exactly causes those feelings which were forced to come into existence so that later on it comes handy while one breaks hearts! Name it, and you have it. Changing dynamics of families, so called love, greatness of friendship (why the hell, am having a wry smile on my ugly face?).People change and more they change, more they remain the same. In real terms absolutely nothing changes.

Someone said...”Nazar toh wahi rehti hai,nazaria badal jaata hai"! Who causes that change of nazaria? Self. Right? No, but we love to blame others. People tend to blame parents, beloved, and friends for every failure of theirs. One of the mot common sight in world is relationships wreaking havoc on individuals because of a miscommunication. But they won’t talk. Now here lord turns himself in ego, arrogance without any substance! Mortals hail those new age mantras of ego/arrogance! Every relationship is need based.but, we have sworn upon our forefathers never to accept this plain truth.afterall, we are selfless, generous and there is no way out to make your presence count in a relationship except these false notions! It’s all fake. Lie and deceit rule the roost. Silly, its practicality! Be realistic mate! Ok, hail my all relationships.


My neurotransmitters stopped working. Exhausted, they brought me back to current time zone. I was transported back to my two rooms flat. I was staring at my mirror. Everything seemed to be a dream. I don’t want to think about that. The world will appear meaningless. I found similarity with the joker of "Mera Naam Joker". The protagonist keeps moving. He loves and he fails. He loves again and fails again. Russian actress in her broken Hindi says 'phir milenge' and joker smiles. Yes, phir milenge. He wants to see the world happy. He acts foolishly, the people laugh and move on.afterall, they got entertained, and they got their money's worth. Its done. Finally the big heart is broken into pieces. People cry this time but move on, very swiftly. Probably this joker has nothing more to offer now!

Mirror knocked my subconscious...you still did not get it?
It said "you fool, why don’t you slit the bastard's throat? The bastard who is innocent, honest, caring and loving! Doesn’t he knows, world hardly cares for those extinct attributes? Rather that allowing it to get trampled, rattled and watching its slow death, why don’t you just slit its throat? Because you believe in the maxim hope floats? Since when you have started seeing the hope floating without any speed breakers! Everyone carries a pseudo image of itself and so do you. Yes, this bastard called 'conscience' has no parents! No legality. Its orphan. Give up my weary wolf!"

This time, I kept staring at it. The knife was back in my hand. The square had got bigger and better.now, it was flooding with blood. The only thing which changed was, my ugly face had a big laugh on it. Spectators' faces were getting clear. I could see their happy expressions. They demanded my blood.
Take as much as you want. That’s why I have been collecting the luscious drops. By the time, you collect them, let me be happy. Let me laugh out loud. Aint I one of those scheming humans, pretending to be generous and giving?

The rest is still unwritten....!